This week, I’d like to share with you, 3 #TrueStories of people I’ve personally met over the years.
Story 1: The Office Martyr
This happened two years ago. A harried-looking CFO came out to greet me wearing wrist-braces, the kind someone who had taken a tumble down the stairs might use.
“I’m sorry, I can’t shake your hand. I’ve had a sudden case of swollen joints all over my body 11 months ago and it refuses to go away,” he apologised.
I asked him if he had seen a doctor and he brushed the question away.
“Too busy with work. There’s too much to do here. I don’t want to apply for medical leave if surgery is involved. I don’t want to disappoint my bosses. I’ll do it after the peak period is over.” He machine-gunned his excuses in quick succession.
I looked at him and thought to myself. “You silly man. Why on earth are you sacrificing your health for your job? Are you trying to be a Martyr for your company? Has anyone even noticed? Is it worth it?”
I last saw him 2 month ago rushing around Raffles Place.
He was limping and still had his wrist-braces on.
Story 2: The Loyal Employee
And then, there was the 59 year old Operations Director who spent 31 years in her Bank.
She dedicated her entire life to the company, spending late nights and weekends on projects around the world, never taking time off to socialise or settle down.
One rainy Thursday afternoon, she was called into her MD’s room and was told she was being retrenched. She burst into tears and started banging the tables with her angry fists.
I know because I was in the next room as her ‘retrenchment consultant’ brought in to help manage her exit process.
When she calmed down, I sat next to her and she shared her anger with me.
“For three decades, I gave my life to this bank! I never even dated or got married because it would distract me from my work… and now, they’re just throwing me out into the street? This is cold-hearted. All my sacrifices came to nothing. How ungrateful!”
Story 3: The Distraught Mother
I was once at a playground on a late Saturday afternoon when I noticed a pretty, well-dressed executive seated on the bench opposite me.
She was having a rather intense conversation on her phone with a colleague whilst her 3 year old daughter played in the sandpit alongside my son.
She never glanced at her kid, not even once.
Suddenly, her little girl tripped over her toy and bumped her head on the railing. Screaming in tears, the little girl got up, looked around and ran towards her Mommy.
The lady got off her seat with arms open as her daughter ran towards her, then past her, into the arms of her Indonesian Helper standing behind her.
She stood there baffled like a deer caught in the headlights, trying to process why her daughter did not run into her waiting arms and suddenly, it hit her.
“I may be her Mother, but I’ve not been her Mommy…”
Now, these three stories really happened and I’m not here to be judgemental. Everyone makes their own choices in their life and who are we to judge them?
The intention of this piece is to ask…
“At what point is ‘loyalty’ to your company or commitment to your job too much? And what’s it costing you?”
- Is satisfying insatiable stakeholders more important than getting your health checked?
- Is unwavering dedication to the company more important than having time for meaningful personal relationships?
- Is unrelenting focus on your work more important than being there for your loved ones?
We really need to examine the choices these 3 real-life individuals have made and make sure we do not fall victim to the same trap.
- Does that ‘urgent’ email that comes in on a Saturday afternoon really need to be responded to immediately, or can it wait till Monday?
- Do you need to attend that late night meeting, or do you just want to?
“Where do you draw the line, and do you even have one drawn?”
We need to start realising that we are NOT our jobs, that our work should not dictate our lives.
Yes, we should always put our best into everything we do, but there should be a point where we decide, enough is enough, it’s time to look after my own interests and put aside our work and spend time on the things that really matter to us. After all…
Nobody ever said at their death-bed that they should have spent more time at the office.