Earlier this year, I spoke to a Senior Business Leader who approached us because he was feeling burnt out.
Being at his company for 21 years, he made a lot of money for his employers, and in return, he was also very highly remunerated.
He said his company was acquired last year and his new bosses (from the acquiring company) were making life really hard for him with the intention of pushing him out of the company.
And he was losing his health over it – he was experiencing heart palpitations and severe anxiety attacks. His doctor even told him to ‘step back’ from the job.
I told him that it was time to move on to a better job or he might just drop dead from a heart attack… but to my surprise, he said:
“I can’t leave – the money here is too good…
Anyway, Life is like that – I’ve been working here for the past 2 decades and it’s always been tough.
It might be even tougher outside, so why court trouble? Let me stay here and cope with the stress.
You know what they say – Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.”
I thought to myself – “This poor guy is in Denial.”
There is the old story of how circuses kept their elephants in check by binding their legs to thick chains when they were young.
These beautiful giants grow up to become strong, majestic creatures who refuse to yank at those chains at their feet because they have learnt how to become helpless, thinking it would be no use to resist at all.
Today, we see many Executives who resist the need to move to better roles, either out of fear or complacency.
Here are some examples:
(True Identities have been concealed)
Cindy,43, HR Manager.
She had ridden on his coat-tails for the past 14 years and was his #2 person in the organisation.
When he retired last year, he offered her the opportunity to take over his leadership role but she declined, saying, “I’ve always been #2 – I’ll never make a good #1.”
A new boss came in to take over the business and brought his previous team over to replace everyone.
Within 6 months, Cindy was out of a job.
Michael, 36 a Sales Manager at an Insurance Agency.
Mike always had great ideas of new products to sell to new categories of clients.
But every time he brought up an idea, his General Manager would tell him how dumb it was and to stick to his real job which was selling insurance.
(But what Mike didn’t realise was that his boss was putting him down because the Management Team didn’t want to lose a top salesman like him).
One day, he discovered a ground-breaking market opportunity but because of his past failures at convincing senior management, he just crumpled the idea into a ball and tossed it away.
How do we then overcome ‘Learned Helplessness’? Here are 3 quick ideas:
1. Break The Inertia
Similarly, just because a practice or mental model has worked for you in the past does not mean that you are bound by it.
Sometimes, we need to break our assumptions and give that chain a slight tug or pull to see if it is still as strong as we think it was.
You’d be surprised to see that it wasn’t that difficult to up-end your original assumptions.
For example, when I started my coaching practice back in 2018, I didn’t think that CEOs and Europe-based clients would even give me the time of day, let alone allow me to coach them, but today, they form a substantial part of our Client Portfolio.
2. Surround yourself with Positive People
Bill Gates once puportedly said that ‘you are the average of your 5 closest friends’, so if you hang around positive, encouraging people, you will find the courage to make bold moves.
Often, these people are able to provide you with a different perspective that could shatter your (wrongly) perceived notions.
And if you do get into their inner circle, as they progress their careers, they will pull you along for the ride.
Not a bad way to climb up the Career Ladder!
3. Realising that YOU HAVE THE POWER
I know of an underpaid and overworked Engineer at a Technology company who was often derided by his bosses who told him that he was so useless, no other company would hire him.
One day, he realised that all his other colleagues had resigned due to the abuse and he was the ONLY person in the organisation left who knew how to operate the machines.
Suddenly, he felt emboldened and demanded a salary increase as well as a promotion, both of which his hapless bosses had to give him as they were now at his mercy.
Always remember – We are NOT Victims.
We have the power to make changes, both small and big ones. Once we realise that we are in charge of our own destinies, we will have the courage to break free from our bondages.
So, what’s holding you back today? Is that chain you see at your feet really that unbreakable? Maybe it’s holding you back from a better life, a better job, or personal happiness?
Take charge and break free today!!!